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one time i was at a nightclub and it was really dark and i met a guy and we didnt really talk he kind of just like guided me to the dance floor and we grinded on eachother and made out and he whispered wanna go to my place in my ear and i was like yeah ok so we went outside to get a cab and we looked at each other in the light of the streetlight and he turned out to be my bio. teacher and he literally sprinted away



Oh god, I made the mistake of answering a question in class and the teacher  wanted me to answer the following ones. So naturally I wasn’t paying much attention in class, so I told him that “You know how you “listen” to your fiance when she talks? This is pretty much the same situation” 

He then congratulated me on getting married and the whole class clapped and I don’t have the heart to say it was a figure of speech. 


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